We need to forgive ourselves.

Sometimes, the worst damage to our souls is that which we’ve caused ourselves. The enemy can and does trick us into thinking that if we punish our­selves, we can somehow beat out the pain or purify the sick place of our own making. This is not true. We need to forgive ourselves.

My self-judgments sound like this: “I’m so stupid. I’ll never be able to do this right. Why would I ever think someone could really, truly love me? I am not good enough to do this.” Self-judgment results from thoughts I have about myself and the meanings attached to those thoughts. The thoughts, hence, produce related feelings such as fear, anger, and depression.

My judgements are based on my belief system, and shockingly as this may seem to some, my belief system may be askew of what is true and factual.  I have learned to challenge my belief system with these 4 simple but enlightening questions:

1. Am I self-judging in all-or-nothing terms?
2. Am I using words or phrases that are extreme or exaggerated like always, forever, never, need, should, must, can’t and every time?
3. Is my judgement of myself aligned with God’s word?
4. Are my judgments based on feelings rather than facts?

The best way I can describe self-forgiveness is that it’s a heart thing. It means giving it all to God. If I don’t admit my powerlessness, rely on self-will and keep God out of the equation, I just end up partially forgiving myself.  The outcome of this is that I sentence myself to a form of emotional probation. When I fully (with God’s help) release myself from my judgements, I also free myself from future false expectations. If I don’t release myself from my judgements, I walk into the future unconsciously believing and expecting the same things from myself.

If you’re really struggling with self-judgement and staring up at the Big Guy towering before you, God knows this about you, so He made a provision here, too. Listen to this because it will free you up. The power to forgive yourself does not start with you. It starts with God.

Your ability to forgive yourself does not depend on your size, strength, speed, intellectual smarts, good looks, money, the power you wield, who you know, or what your father/mother did or didn’t do. You have everything you need. The question is not “Can you forgive yourself” but “will you.” Are you willing? If you’re still not sure that you can do this or it will work for you, let me pose it this way: Are you willing to be willing?

True forgiveness is releasing someone (me) from my judgment. Doing this sounds like, “GOD, I forgive me, and I release myself from my judgments.”

The gift of self-forgiveness is yours for the taking.

You just have to go there with Him.

~Kevin Williams