One of the first concepts I heard about in Al-Anon Family Group’s meetings was “acceptance.” At first I thought that to accept something meant I had to agree with it, like it, or even just be ok with it. But that’s not what acceptance means.

In one of the Al-Anon daily readers it says “…we may hesitate to accept an unpleasant reality because we feel that by accepting, we condone something that is intolerable. But this is not the case. As it says so eloquently in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, ‘Acceptance does not mean submission to a degrading situation. It means accepting the fact of a situation, then deciding what we will do about it.’ Acceptance can be empowering because it makes choice possible.”*

Once I am able to accept something just as it is, then I can see that I have options about what I can do or what I want to do.

There is also a reading in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book which says: “…acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some fact of my life –
unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake…unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.” (Alcoholics Anonymous page 417)

Acceptance brings me freedom because it allows me to stop fighting against the facts and frees me to make choices about how I will act and think, and how I will take care of myself.

*Courage to Change, copyright 1992 by Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Reprinted by permission of Al‑Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., page 256

~ Amy Lauber

Quotes
“Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible. It is not forever, it is for the present moment.” ~Melody Beattie

“Acceptance – simple acknowledgement, without guilt, of our feelings and thoughts.” ~Melody Beattie

The Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the grace
To accept with serenity
The things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.